"All the things"

Sometimes I worry about how much I tell people about myself, my health, my struggles. About “all the things”. I’ve always been honest to a fault. I tell people if you don’t want the truth, best not to ask me.

But then again, when I am forthcoming I find kindred spirits. People who share similar experiences. People who understand me. I understand them. I am not alone. I share my stories, they share theirs.

Working in diversity, equity and inclusion over the past 15 years has caused me to be in some very complex situations and to be with people who are often very different from me. But one thing you learn working in DEI is that everyone has something in common.

By sharing my stories and being upfront about my struggles, I have found deeper connections with people, and I have learned many things: I am not alone, everyone has a story, don’t make assumptions and perspective is priceless.

I also realize that while I have been through so much in my life, I have been through nothing.

At the end of the day, I live by the fact that everything is really about perspective. I have been through a lot – many have been through more. I’ve been writing a lot about perspective. It’s my new life theme, I guess.

I had my first surgery when I was 16, which was to fix my nose after I fainted at the top of a flight of stairs due to dizziness from a migraine. By the time I was 25, I lost an ovary, part of my cervix and my thyroid. But I also put myself through college and bought my first house, which, for a single woman that age during that time was something to be proud of. Perspective.

By the time I was 35, I lost a fallopian tube, was told I couldn’t have children and had a full hysterectomy. But the doctors were wrong and Logan Christopher was born in between (at 33 weeks). Perspective.

Shortly after, I transitioned from Marketing Communications into DEI and for the next 15 years I worked passionately and tirelessly on work that I absolutely loved. For those 15 years, I had experiences most are not fortunate to have including meeting people from all over the world and being able to learn from them. As each year went by, I dove deeper and deeper into this work, never stopping to reflect.

Then CRASH March 2023 I was sitting in a car in snowy Lake Tahoe during Spring Break while my miracle son slept in the hotel and I learned I had the Chek2 Cancer gene. Life as I knew it stopped that day. Most people know how this story went - I used this as an opportunity to stop and reflect on "all the things" I have done and could do from here. And, I quit my job and took my life back.

I have learned that life is full of “all the things”. And “all the things” define you. And you can choose how they will define you.

When I was a teenager, I could have been the girl with the migraines. In my twenties, I could have been the girl with Endometriosis. And now, I could be the girl who has had ten surgeries and has four chronic illnesses. Or I could be the girl who will not let health issues and other setbacks define her and lives every single day to the absolute fullest.

Now, as I meander around in my neck brace from my recent spine surgery, people say how sorry they are, but I think how lucky I am. How lucky I am to have been able to have surgeries to help me, how lucky I was to have my miracle son, how lucky I have been to have had an amazing career, how lucky I am to have met so many people along my journey. Perspective.

And, now that I have the time to stop and reflect, I’ve found by sharing stories about myself and “all the things”, I have been better able to communicate with people, and to help each other realize that there are others who have been through what we have or worse.

DEI work is so complicated, but at the core, it is about bringing people together, helping each other along and lifting each other up. Earlier this year I also wrote about the people I have been meeting through my furniture restoration. I started restoring furniture because inertia is not in my vocabulary and going from 100mph to zero was an absolute shock to my system – emotionally and mentally. Restoring furniture feeds my mind and soul, but it has also enabled me to meet a whole new set of people and learn from them and their stories.

So, this is my story and “all the things”. I hope it made you realize you are not alone, everyone has a story, never make assumptions and perspective is priceless.