The Thing About Roller Coasters and Life: They go up and down.

Today was a down day. I knew it would be. While I've been blessed with outstanding healing from my most recent surgeries thanks to Dr. Jeremiah Redstone, last week I learned that my Degenerative Disc Disease has flared up and the cervical fusion from 2010 needs to be repaired. So today was an epidural; surgery is being scheduled for July. As you can imagine, every day lately has been a roller coaster of ups and downs... I focus on the ups by finding something each day that brings me joy.

Now that I have stepped away from the pace of Biglaw, in addition to freelancing, I’ve been restoring furniture to spend time with my thoughts. I love it. I still love to stay connected on LinkedIn and am going to London in July for the Interlaw Diversity Summit, but I’ve recently realized that I also love meeting my neighbors. It’s interesting that in 15 years of doing D&I work, I have met so many people with so many different and unique backgrounds. Yet, in the 20+ years I’ve lived in my home, I’ve met few people from the surrounding area and frankly they’re fascinating.

I’ve met many retirees cleaning out their homes with stories about the furniture and their lives, including a former police chief, fire chief, someone who restored vintage cars and a woman who now sells and collects for the elderly. I’ve met an architect who is currently restoring a 150-year old church in upstate New York and I’ve met several young people just starting out. My favorite part of this new hobby is when the buyer drives down my driveway, sees the piece and their face brightens. I’ve been missing the people aspect of my former job lately and these interactions have helped to fill that void and the restoration gives me pride and purpose.

Since I made the choice to start my freelance business, Purposefully Worded, and with it launched my blog, I haven’t been certain what I should write about. Should I blog on a regular basis? Should I publish a regular newsletter?

At the same time, the thought of that commitment right now is too significant. I am having fun with the freelance projects I have been so fortunate to have and I blog when I feel inspired which provides another outlet for my thoughts. Plus, I love writing! I also enjoy how many people have reached out after my blogs because again, staying connected and hopefully helping others has been feeding my mind and my soul.

Some days I still absolutely cannot fathom how different my life has become these past nearly six months. Some days I miss it a lot. As I have written before, for nearly 30 years I built a career I loved. Maybe even was obsessed with? But I pushed myself and I pushed myself hard. I’m certainly not saying it was not worth it. What I am saying is how much of it was worth it? At 7pm (or later), did I really need to still be working? Did I even stop to think about that time? Did I need to take calls on weekends and on vacation? Would the outcome have been different?

So now, I face my tenth surgery since 1990 and I see the ups. I am present for my son as we tour colleges (my baby leaving = horrors!) and when he went to the prom. I nurture my flowers in my garden, frogs in my pond and houseplants outside my home office that were previously neglected. I cook! Cooking was previously a daunting chore and the local delivery people knew us. Now I go to local cooking socials... and meet more locals!

While I am not a religious person, I am spiritual and I believe things happen for a reason. This latest setback is life telling me to continue to smell the roses (quite literally) and not worry about what I “was” and start enjoying life as it is. I hope this inspires you to: 1) take a break to stop and smell the roses 2) appreciate the ups and the downs 3) try to see the ups in every day 4) maybe even take a look at some of what you do each day that does not bring you joy and try to change it, and 5) enjoy roller coasters unless you have spine issues of course ;)

Thank you again for reading, sorry about the medical TMI and stay in touch!